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Sunday June 28, 2015 – In an unprecedented move the GOP migration into outer space will only take animals two by two, a few key politicians and two Fox News anchormen.

In a national uproar many registered Republicans who were hoping to flee the planet in the wake of losing their ban on same-sex marriage have filed countless class-action law suits and are flocking to Florida.

Fox News executive Roger Ailes says, “We only have limited cargo space – we can only transport what’s important for our own personal survival.”

Huge crowds of angry Fox News fans are forming at the Kennedy Space Center in Cape Canaveral demanding passage on the escape ship to planetoid Ceres, the new established oxygen-free, gay-free, Confederate flag-waving domain.

Strangely enough, only a few GOP politicians have been promised passage on the cushy, twin-aisle rocket into space. Most Earth animals will also be included, but not all of them…

“I was hoping for a first-class ticket,” says Presidential hopeful, Donald Trump, “I even hocked my vintage Avon cologne bottle collection just to get a good seat. Now they’re only taking the stupids!”.


Many were shocked by who was actually invited on the huge space ark headed into oblivion. Fox News anchormen, Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity will be piloting the craft and have chosen a few of their co-workers for the crew.

“We’re leaving our families behind,” says O’Reilly, “Who needs them. All they do is eat and complain.”

Even the Koch Brothers were not spared the insult of abandonment.

“We will build our own space ships next year as soon as we purchase Mars and NASA,” said billionaire David Koch.

Liberals and Fox News critics are relieved to see some of their least-favorite people leave the planet permanently. Many are looking at the upcoming Forth of July with a new rekindled hope.

“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out,” says film composer, Chuck Cirino, “You’ve done nothing but bring this country down for the last two decades. Good riddance!”


Art by Shigeru Komatsuzaki

When director, Jim Wynorski asked me to score his film, SHARKANSAS WOMAN’S PRISON MASSACRE 3 things went through my mind. 1) Will there be women in the film? 2) Will there be a shark in the film? 3) Will there be a budget to write the music for the film? Of course this is a stupid question. I’ve worked with Jim for more years than I care to mention… so I know the answer already: YES, YES, NO. As is usually the case on low budget films the money would be spent on women and visual effects. Not music. Yet, with the most popular shark film of all time, JAWS having a signature theme and score I was determined to give Jim his ‘shark’ vibe, make it distinctive, and earn my music composition fee on royalties through BMI, once the film aired on broadcast television.


Actress, Dominique Swain as “Honey” in SHARKANSAS WOMEN’S PRISON MASSACRE

So I dipped into my vast music library for most of the underscore, but also composed a new theme for the shark and some of the other shenanigans going on in the movie. Because I have access to all my original composing files in Logic 9, I even customized some of the background score!


The Final Cut Pro time line for music tracking SHARKANSAS WOMEN’S PRISON MASSACRE

The editorial result is pictured in the graphic above. And as promised the three things you’ll love about SHARKANSAS are:

1) The Women
2) The Shark
3) The Music

I’m looking forward to the final mix for the movie. Patrick¬†Giraudi… do us good!!!